World Domination Progress Dashboard

World Domination Progress Dashboard — Live Status

The following dashboard reflects the current operational status of all active world domination initiatives under the jurisdiction of Local Chapter 137. Data is compiled from subcommittee reports, treasurer updates, and whatever Morty remembers from the last meeting.

Last updated: Sheldon checks this quarterly. Nothing has changed.

Global Banking Control 0%

Subcommittee dissolved. No chair. No progress. The account was with Herb and he forgot the password.

Media Monopolization 0%

Subcommittee dissolved. Sheldon's blog has 11 subscribers. Four are chapter members. One is a bot named "GrowthHackr."

Government Infiltration 0%

Morty (acting chair) attended one city council meeting in 2019. He did not speak. He did take a pamphlet about the proposed roundabout on Elm.

Weather Control 0%

Diane is researching. She has a folder. The folder has tabs. Progress on the folder itself: moderate.

Space Laser Operations N/A

Not our department. Chapter 415. Please stop asking Morty.

Potluck Coordination 73%

Arlene has confirmed the kugel, the brisket (see note), and a vegetarian option. Pending: dessert assignments, parking coordination, and whether Barry's seat is still being held for him.

Bake Sale Revenue vs. Target 8%

$67.50 raised against a projected annual domination budget of $800. The rugelach situation did not help.

Website Uptime 94%

The site went down for three days in September when Sheldon forgot to renew the hosting. Otherwise solid. Sheldon is proud of this one.

⚠ DASHBOARD METHODOLOGY: Progress percentages are estimated by Sheldon based on available information and vibes. The Treasurer (Herb) has not submitted a subcommittee expenditure report since the surgery. The dashboard is not, technically, "live." It is a static HTML page. When Sheldon says "live status," he means it was accurate when he last updated it, which was a while ago. If you notice a discrepancy between this dashboard and actual world events, please note that we are almost certainly not responsible.