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IMMEMORIAL
137

The Fraternal Order of
the Elders of Zion

Local Chapter 137
Founded Time Immemorial · Incorporated in Delaware for Tax Purposes, 2003
Days Since Last Successful Act of World Domination: 4,401   |   Current Global Control Status: ASPIRATIONAL
★ REMINDER: Annual dues of $45 are past due for several members. Global domination cannot proceed until accounts are settled. See Herb.    ★ POTLUCK SIGNUP for March meeting — Arlene is bringing kugel again so please coordinate    ★ The Media Control Subcommittee regrets to announce that we have, once again, failed to control the media    ★ PARKING NOTE: Do NOT park in the Elks Lodge spots. They are not part of the conspiracy and they will tow you.    ★

Leadership & Officers

Officers & Committee Chairs

Local Chapter 137 is administered by a duly elected leadership team, chosen annually by majority vote of dues-paying members present at the December meeting. The December meeting has had low attendance in recent years, which has led to several uncontested elections and one situation in 2021 that we agreed not to put in the minutes.


Grand Elder (President)

Morty Feldstein

Morty has served as Grand Elder since 2009, having previously served two terms as Vice Elder and one difficult term as Treasurer. He is responsible for presiding over all chapter meetings, maintaining the email list (currently 23 subscribers), and acting as the chapter’s primary liaison to the Grand Council — a role he takes seriously despite having no confirmed way to contact the Grand Council.

Morty also chairs the Government Infiltration Subcommittee in an acting capacity. He attended a city council meeting in 2019. He found it informative.

Contact Morty to be added to the chapter email list.


Vice Elder

Diane Shapiro

Diane oversees venue booking, snack procurement, and the Weather Control Subcommittee. She brings considerable organizational talent to both the logistical and the geometeorological aspects of chapter operations. The venue has been consistently secured. The weather has not.

Diane compiled a research folder on weather modification technology in 2022. The folder has six tabs and a cover sheet. She presented a summary at the March meeting and was asked several follow-up questions she is still looking into.


Treasurer

Herb Greenbaum (currently on medical leave)

Herb has served as Treasurer since 2014. He manages the chapter’s financial accounts, prepares the annual budget, and oversees bake sale revenue allocation. Herb underwent knee surgery in late 2024 and is recovering well. The chapter sends its warmest regards and looks forward to his return.

In Herb’s absence, Morty has been managing the treasury on an informal basis. The account balance is believed to be in the low hundreds. Morty is fairly sure the login is written down somewhere.

Cards and well-wishes may be passed along through Sheldon.


Secretary & Webmaster

Sheldon Markowitz

Sheldon serves as both Secretary and Webmaster, a dual role he accepted in 2016 under the impression that the website was “basically done.” It has not been basically done at any point since then. He maintains the meeting minutes binder, manages correspondence, and is responsible for this website, including all broken links, unreturned emails, and the guestbook situation (see Guestbook page for full details).

Sheldon is also responsible for the World Domination Progress Dashboard, which he updates quarterly or whenever someone reminds him.

Sheldon is the primary point of contact for all chapter administrative matters.


Bake Sale Chair

Arlene Roth

Arlene chairs the Bake Sale Coordination Subcommittee, which is the chapter’s most operationally active subcommittee and the one closest to meeting its objectives. She organizes all bake sale events, coordinates participant contributions, and sets up the table.

The February bake sale raised $67.50, down from $84 in the prior year. Arlene attributes this to venue foot traffic and categorically denies that the rugelach were undersalted. This matter was discussed at length at the March meeting. It remains, at Arlene’s request, unresolved in the official record.


Sergeant-at-Arms

VACANT (since 2019)

Barry Kessler held this position from 2011 through early 2019, at which point he relocated to Scottsdale for retirement. Barry was an excellent Sergeant-at-Arms. He kept order, managed the sign-in sheet, and knew where the spare folding chairs were stored.

The position has been vacant since Barry’s departure. No one has formally volunteered to assume the role. At the December 2023 meeting, Morty asked if anyone wanted to be Sergeant-at-Arms. There was a long pause. The item was tabled.

If you are interested in the Sergeant-at-Arms position, please speak with Morty.


⚠ REGARDING VACANCIES: The chapter currently has vacancies in the following positions: Sergeant-at-Arms, Global Banking Control Chair, and Media Monopolization Chair. The latter two subcommittees were dissolved, but if you would like to reconstitute either of them, Morty is very open to the conversation. The Global Banking subcommittee in particular sounds like it should be something we have. It keeps coming up in the Protocols.
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