The Fraternal Order of
the Elders of Zion

Banking Control Subcommittee

Status: Dissolved (Pending Renewed Interest)

The Banking Control Subcommittee of Local Chapter 137 was formally established in accordance with Protocol 20, which calls for the Order to “so harness the forces of all States by means of economical treaties, or loan obligations” until “the governments of the Goyim, as you know, would be tied by our contracts.” At the time of ratification by our bylaws committee, Morty noted that this was “an ambitious goal” and Diane asked whether we should start with something smaller, like a credit union.

We did not start with a credit union.

Current Operational Status

The subcommittee has been dissolved due to lack of participation. The dissolution is, as Morty described it at the February meeting, “temporary and aspirational,” meaning we have not officially closed the subcommittee so much as stopped doing anything with it and filed the binder in the cabinet next to the mini-fridge.

Current treasury balance: $412.38

This figure represents our total liquid assets and has been frozen since Herb went on medical leave in November. Herb handles the treasury. Nobody else has the password to the Chase business checking account. Diane suggested we write it down somewhere. Morty said that defeats the purpose of a secret society. Diane noted, again, that we have a website.

The motion to access the Chase account was tabled at the November meeting, tabled again at the December meeting (Herb was expected to return; he did not), tabled a third time in January (Herb’s knee is “healing nicely” per a text message to Sheldon), and tabled yet again at the February meeting. The motion is expected to be tabled at the March meeting as well. Herb has not indicated a return date.

Quarterly Progress Report — Q1 2026

Grand Ambitions, Deferred

The original subcommittee charter, drafted by Herb in 2021 and approved by the membership following a very enthusiastic presentation with a PowerPoint that Herb’s son helped him make, outlined a three-phase plan for global financial domination:

Phase 1 (2021–2022): Establish relationships with key financial institutions. Herb joined a local credit union and attended one of their member appreciation events. He received a tote bag. Progress on Phase 1 was assessed as “promising.”

Phase 2 (2022–2024): Leverage Phase 1 relationships to expand financial influence. Herb upgraded to the credit union’s Platinum Checking tier, which required a minimum balance of $2,500. He maintained this balance for approximately four months before a car repair brought him below the threshold. His account was downgraded. Phase 2 was assessed as “ongoing.”

Phase 3 (2024–present): Seize control of international banking system. This phase is tabled indefinitely.

The Rothschild Question

Members occasionally ask whether Local Chapter 137 maintains any connection to the legendary Rothschild banking dynasty, frequently cited in antisemitic conspiracy literature as the primary engine of Jewish financial control.

We do not. We have no connection to the Rothschild family, the Rothschild banking group, or anyone named Rothschild. Morty has a cousin named Rothstein, who works in insurance. Morty asked if this counted. The membership voted 4–1 that it did not (Marv voted yes; Marv also opposes everything the rest of us propose, so it evens out).

Path Forward

The subcommittee remains technically active pending Herb’s return. At that time, the membership intends to:

1. Recover the Chase account password
2. Review the Phase 3 proposal
3. Determine whether “Phase 3: Seize control of international banking system” requires additional sub-phases
4. Table any motion that seems like too much work this quarter

Members with backgrounds in international finance, central banking, or general financial malfeasance are encouraged to contact Morty. Members who know how Chase’s account recovery process works are particularly encouraged to contact Morty.