Government Infiltration Subcommittee
Status: No Progress (Phase 1 Complete)
The Government Infiltration Subcommittee exists to advance the directive found in Protocol 1, which calls for the Order to “seize the reins of all existing governments by means of violence and Freemasonry.” The subcommittee notes, for the record, that it does not endorse violence and has no known affiliation with the Freemasons, though Morty’s uncle was a Mason back in the eighties and spoke well of them.
Morty serves as acting subcommittee chair. He has served as acting chair since the subcommittee was established in 2021. The word “acting” was initially intended to denote a temporary arrangement pending the identification of a permanent chair. This identification has not occurred. Morty is, at this point, the chair in all practical senses, though the membership has agreed to retain the word “acting” because removing it would require a formal vote and Marv would oppose it.
Phase 1: Complete
At the February meeting, Morty delivered his Phase 1 status report. Phase 1 was defined, at the October 2025 meeting, as “initial contact with governmental entities to establish a beachhead of influence.”
Phase 1 is complete.
Specifically: Morty wrote a letter to his alderman about the pothole at the intersection near the Community Center. The letter was polite, clearly written, and identified the specific block in question. Morty received an automated acknowledgment from the alderman’s office within 72 hours. The pothole has not been filled.
The membership voted 4–1 to classify this correspondence as Phase 1 of the government infiltration operation. Marv voted against. Marv’s position, as recorded in the minutes, was that “a letter about a pothole is not government infiltration.” Morty’s rebuttal, also recorded, was that “all contact is a form of influence, and influence is the foundation of infiltration.” Diane seconded this interpretation. Sheldon abstained on the grounds that he wasn’t sure which side he agreed with.
Official classification: Phase 1 Complete.
Phase 2: Not Yet Proposed
Following the Phase 1 status report, Morty opened the floor for discussion of Phase 2. He described Phase 2 as “the next logical escalation of our governmental engagement strategy.” He did not specify what Phase 2 would involve. Diane asked if Phase 2 could involve attending a city council meeting. Morty said that was “a possibility worth exploring.” No formal proposal was submitted.
Marv suggested that a proper Phase 2 would require “a plan with actual steps,” which Morty acknowledged was a reasonable point. Morty agreed to draft a Phase 2 proposal for the March meeting. As of this writing, the March meeting has not yet occurred and no draft has been circulated.
Quarterly Progress Report — Q1 2026
| Objective | Target | Actual | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Government bodies infiltrated | 3 | 0 | Phase 1 is not infiltration per Marv |
| Elected officials under our influence | 5 | 0 | The alderman has not replied |
| Shadow cabinet positions filled | 7 | 0 | We have not located the shadow cabinet |
| Legislative actions influenced | 2 | 0 | The pothole has not been filled |
| Phase 1 complete | Yes | Yes | Morty wrote a letter |
| Overall infiltration | 100% | 0% (Phase 1 complete) |
Obstacles
The subcommittee has identified the following obstacles to progress:
Obstacle 1: Lack of contacts. Protocol-based government infiltration presupposes a network of operatives embedded in government institutions at all levels. Local Chapter 137 does not have such a network. Morty’s cousin works for the county assessor’s office but has asked that we not involve her in this.
Obstacle 2: Lack of a Phase 2. See above.
Obstacle 3: Marv. Marv has voted against every motion proposed by this subcommittee. At the October meeting, he voted against classifying the pothole letter as government activity. At the November meeting, he voted against approving the Phase 1 report. At the December meeting, he voted against adding “Government Infiltration” to the chapter’s formal list of active initiatives. When asked why he consistently opposes government-related motions, Marv said he didn’t think we should be “inviting trouble.” This was noted in the minutes without editorial comment, because Sheldon is a fair-minded secretary.
Looking Ahead
The subcommittee will present a Phase 2 proposal at the March meeting, assuming Morty has drafted one. Members with experience in civic engagement, municipal government, community organizing, or any context in which a person has spoken to an elected official and been heard are encouraged to volunteer.
We would also welcome any member who knows whether the pothole has been filled. Morty has driven by twice and it looked the same both times, but it was dark.