Media Monopolization Subcommittee
Status: Dissolved (Nominally)
The Media Monopolization Subcommittee was established to fulfill the directive set forth in Protocol 12, which instructs the Order to “not admit so much as a single announcement to the press without having first given it the purpose of orientating public opinion in the required direction.” The subcommittee was chaired, from its founding in 2020, by a gentleman named Gerald who moved to Boca Raton in 2023 and did not identify a successor. The subcommittee has been formally dissolved, though Sheldon continues to manage the Facebook page in a purely personal capacity that he insists does not constitute official subcommittee activity.
The membership has agreed, for administrative purposes, to treat Sheldon’s Facebook activity as official subcommittee output. Sheldon has asked that this characterization not be shared with Sheldon’s nephew, who does this for free.
The Full Scope of Our Media Empire
The Facebook Page
Established: February 2023 Current followers: 11 Followers who are Sheldon’s family: 3 (Sheldon’s wife, Sheldon’s brother-in-law, and Sheldon’s cousin Deborah, who liked the page and then immediately messaged Sheldon to ask if everything was okay) Most-liked post: A photo of Arlene’s rugelach from the March 2024 bake sale (7 likes) Most recent post: A reminder about the February meeting (posted three days after the February meeting) Average engagement rate: Approximately 1.2 interactions per post, one of which is usually Sheldon liking his own post
The page operates under the name “Tuesday Group (Room B)” in deference to the Community Center’s policy on group naming, which does not permit names that “reference conspiracy, world domination, or anything that would make the Tuesday yoga class uncomfortable.” We are listed between the Tuesday Quilting Circle and the Tuesday Toastmasters.
The Podcast
In the summer of 2024, Morty proposed that the subcommittee launch a podcast, noting that podcasts represent a significant and growing media channel through which local chapters might begin to establish narrative influence. The proposal was approved unanimously. Sheldon’s nephew, who had already agreed to the Facebook page without being told it was for a world-domination front organization, declined to be involved.
Morty purchased a microphone. The microphone did not come with instructions he found adequate. He watched four YouTube tutorials and determined that two of them were contradictory. After three weeks, Morty was able to record his own voice, but the playback quality was described by Diane as “like you’re calling me from a car wash.” Morty disputed this. Diane played back the recording. Morty conceded the point.
The podcast has recorded zero episodes. The microphone is in Morty’s office closet. The podcast’s intended name — The Elder Dispatch: Audio Edition — was deemed “too on the nose” by Sheldon, who suggested Tuesday Talks, which Morty felt lacked gravitas. The name has not been finalized.
The Instagram Account
During the February meeting, Sheldon reported that his nephew had created an Instagram account for the chapter following a discussion at the November meeting. The account exists. Nobody has posted to it. Nobody is certain of the password. Sheldon’s nephew offered to post something if “someone just tells me what you want.” Nobody has followed up with Sheldon’s nephew.
The account currently has 0 posts and 0 followers.
Website
The chapter website (which you are currently reading) is maintained by Sheldon and is categorically not part of the Media Monopolization Subcommittee’s portfolio. It is part of the Website Maintenance Subcommittee’s portfolio. These are different subcommittees. Sheldon chairs both, but they are, administratively speaking, distinct.
Quarterly Progress Report — Q1 2026
| Objective | Target | Actual | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| News organizations infiltrated | 5 | 0 | Gerald handled this; Gerald is in Boca |
| Social media followers acquired | 10,000 | 11 | Three are family |
| Podcast episodes released | 4 | 0 | Microphone situation unresolved |
| Narratives successfully shaped | 12 | 0 | We cannot agree on which narratives to shape |
| Overall media control | 100% | ~0.0001% | Facebook page, generously assessed |
Path Forward
The subcommittee seeks a new chair with experience in media, communications, narrative management, or at minimum someone who knows how Instagram works. Gerald’s email still bounces. The membership has sent him two LinkedIn requests. He has not connected.
Interested candidates should contact Morty. If you have worked in media in any capacity — journalism, advertising, public relations, local access cable — we would like to speak with you. If you were once quoted in a local newspaper, we would like to speak with you. If you have ever successfully gotten a post to trend on any platform, we would very much like to speak with you, and also to ask how you did that.
The Facebook page is available to follow. We will not tell you to follow it. But it is there.